sometimes i wonder why God gave us free will
what was he trying to tell us, surely he wasn't trying to make us ill
of all the thinking we'd have to do, of all the challenges making it seem falling off a hill...
we have all our lives figured out, all written down, why bother live it when it's already drawn?!
every cut is sawn, every gap is shown, and most of all, every mistake is known
sometimes i comfort myself, and other close people to me, eventhough i never do a good job
i say that God has all figured out in front of him, he's just giving us a chance to see it, but what the heck after some time, even to myself it all seems just a blob
i seem to comfort myself for a short period of time, then i rebelieve in what i said, in fact i build up faith on what i said
then comes a bigger issue, forgive my modesty as i know it might not be as big of an issue as i imagine, if stayed much aside though it might fade
i bet you at least once or twice felt that there's chemistry between you and someone else from a couple of coffees to a medieval game where u carry a sturdy falchion
then you start building up a mental image of that person, giving them wings and crowning them angels for their perfection
you think of them all day all night, and then you realize they can't know, either cause they are in a relationship or other much complicated issues
then you start hating your life, hating your ways, and consuming a considerable amount of tissues
then i wonder, why does God do that?! why did he let us meet those people?!
i for one don't know yet, but i'm sure the answer to it is pretty simple...
sometimes i wonder why the loved ones dies first and not us...
i've always wished that i'd die before my dad or any other member of my familly does, let it be natural death or just hit by a bus
but that does not seem to be the plan, they die first...
simply cause we're much younger, and we'll have other loved ones that will make the loss of the earlier mentioned much easier, fill the love thirst...